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#1 2018-09-03 19:56:43

brontosaurusrex
Middle Office
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 1,935
Website

Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

The idea: Texas longhorn telling Chuck truths on term startup

Result:

 _________________________________________
/ Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on \
\ 32 bit machines.                        /
 -----------------------------------------
 ____              \                           ____
    /               \                          \
    (__________________________________________)                  
                        (oo)                   
                 /-------\/         
                / |     ||               
               *  ||----||           
                  ~~    ~~

Stuff you need:
https://github.com/brontosaurusrex/stre … ents/jokes
https://raw.githubusercontent.com/bront … r/bin/seen (on $PATH)

apt install cowsay

.zshrc example: (adjust paths accordingly)

# Chuck
( cd ~/source/stretchbang/.experiments/jokes && cowsay -f ./texas.cow "$(./chuck)" )

or/and alias: (adjust paths accordingly)

alias chuck='( cd ~/source/stretchbang/.experiments/jokes && cowsay -f ./texas.cow "$(./chuck)" )

Last edited by brontosaurusrex (2018-09-03 21:13:04)

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#2 2018-09-04 02:27:28

hhh
Meep!
Registered: 2015-09-17
Posts: 8,743
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

I love it.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

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#3 2018-09-04 02:34:39

DeepDayze
Member
From: In Linux Land
Registered: 2017-05-28
Posts: 761

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

The Chuck Norris ones are real gems!


Real Men Use Linux

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#4 2018-09-04 05:36:35

ohnonot
...again
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 4,165
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

so.
this is where all the fun was hiding.
those jokes are hilarious.
should i start watching chuck norris movies?

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#5 2018-09-04 12:04:47

brontosaurusrex
Middle Office
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 1,935
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

ohnonot wrote:

should i start watching chuck norris movies?

I'am afraid to say no, since Chuck may be reading this, so yes you should.

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#6 2018-09-04 21:17:08

hhh
Meep!
Registered: 2015-09-17
Posts: 8,743
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

If there's one thing to watch, it's this...

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Way Of The Dragon (climactic scene, 1972)

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#7 2018-09-04 21:27:34

iMBeCil
WAAAT?
From: Edrychwch o'ch cwmpas
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 656

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

^Didn't know there actually were one person who won a fight against Chick Norris?!?!?!??! How is/was that possible?  monkey  monkey


Postpone all your duties; if you die, you won't have to do them ..

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#8 2018-09-04 21:29:40

hhh
Meep!
Registered: 2015-09-17
Posts: 8,743
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

ohnonot wrote:

so.
this is where all the fun was hiding.
those jokes are hilarious.

Welcome to America!!!!!

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#9 2018-09-05 05:56:06

ohnonot
...again
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 4,165
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

hhh wrote:

when CN started to shake his hair i just knew that this is a parody.
big_smile
the next 9 minutes were excrutiating. who was watching that? or is that the director's cut?
and what's with the kitten? some enigma.

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#10 2018-09-05 06:29:42

brontosaurusrex
Middle Office
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 1,935
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

^They just cut out scenes where Lee was begging for mercy, replaced with kitten.

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#11 2018-09-05 22:52:58

hhh
Meep!
Registered: 2015-09-17
Posts: 8,743
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

LOL!

It was the highest-grossing film in Hong-Kong in 1972.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_the_Dragon

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#12 2019-11-13 17:17:22

BLizgreat!
Resident Babbler - vll!
Registered: 2015-10-03
Posts: 1,217

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

Lmfrigginao ! Also luv it. big_smile

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his living room, it's a real bear and it's still alive ... it's just too afraid to move. tongue

Last edited by BLizgreat! (2019-11-13 17:17:51)

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#13 2019-11-13 21:32:21

brontosaurusrex
Middle Office
Registered: 2015-09-29
Posts: 1,935
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

BLizgreat! wrote:

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his living room, it's a real bear and it's still alive ... it's just too afraid to move. tongue

^ My favorite one.

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#14 2019-11-13 21:51:47

cog
brushpopper
From: New Mexico, USA
Registered: 2015-10-27
Posts: 335
Website

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

^ LOL

Chuck Norris jokes are the gift that keeps on givin', and using a longhorn for cowsay is awesome!


It is another beautiful day at the Red Pony Saloon and continual soiree.  - Henry Standing Bear

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#15 2019-11-13 22:09:12

BLizgreat!
Resident Babbler - vll!
Registered: 2015-10-03
Posts: 1,217

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

^LMfao guys ! big_smile

Ok later fellas have to do something before the dang sunsets eh.

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