Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

brontosaurusrex · 2018-09-03 19:56:43

The idea: Texas longhorn telling Chuck truths on term startup

Result:

 _________________________________________
/ Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on \
\ 32 bit machines.                        /
 -----------------------------------------
 ____              \                           ____
    /               \                          \
    (__________________________________________)                  
                        (oo)                   
                 /-------\/         
                / |     ||               
               *  ||----||           
                  ~~    ~~

Stuff you need:
https://github.com/brontosaurusrex/stre … ents/jokes
https://raw.githubusercontent.com/bront … r/bin/seen (on $PATH)

apt install cowsay

.zshrc example: (adjust paths accordingly)

# Chuck
( cd ~/source/stretchbang/.experiments/jokes && cowsay -f ./texas.cow "$(./chuck)" )

or/and alias: (adjust paths accordingly)

alias chuck='( cd ~/source/stretchbang/.experiments/jokes && cowsay -f ./texas.cow "$(./chuck)" )

Last edited by brontosaurusrex (2018-09-03 21:13:04)

hhh · 2018-09-04 02:27:28

I love it.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

DeepDayze · 2018-09-04 02:34:39

The Chuck Norris ones are real gems!

ohnonot · 2018-09-04 05:36:35

so.
this is where all the fun was hiding.
those jokes are hilarious.
should i start watching chuck norris movies?

brontosaurusrex · 2018-09-04 12:04:47

ohnonot wrote:

should i start watching chuck norris movies?

I'am afraid to say no, since Chuck may be reading this, so yes you should.

hhh · 2018-09-04 21:17:08

If there's one thing to watch, it's this...

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Way Of The Dragon (climactic scene, 1972)

iMBeCil · 2018-09-04 21:27:34

^Didn't know there actually were one person who won a fight against Chick Norris?!?!?!??! How is/was that possible? 8o 8o

hhh · 2018-09-04 21:29:40

ohnonot wrote:

so.
this is where all the fun was hiding.
those jokes are hilarious.

Welcome to America!!!!!

ohnonot · 2018-09-05 05:56:06

hhh wrote:

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Way Of The Dragon (climactic scene, 1972)

when CN started to shake his hair i just knew that this is a parody.

the next 9 minutes were excrutiating. who was watching that? or is that the director's cut?
and what's with the kitten? some enigma.

brontosaurusrex · 2018-09-05 06:29:42

^They just cut out scenes where Lee was begging for mercy, replaced with kitten.

hhh · 2018-09-05 22:52:58

LOL!

It was the highest-grossing film in Hong-Kong in 1972.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_the_Dragon

BLizgreat! · 2019-11-13 17:17:22

Lmfrigginao ! Also luv it.

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his living room, it's a real bear and it's still alive ... it's just too afraid to move.

Last edited by BLizgreat! (2019-11-13 17:17:51)

brontosaurusrex · 2019-11-13 21:32:21

BLizgreat! wrote:

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his living room, it's a real bear and it's still alive ... it's just too afraid to move.

^ My favorite one.

cog · 2019-11-13 21:51:47

^ LOL

Chuck Norris jokes are the gift that keeps on givin', and using a longhorn for cowsay is awesome!

BLizgreat! · 2019-11-13 22:09:12

^LMfao guys !

Ok later fellas have to do something before the dang sunsets eh.

#1 2018-09-03 19:56:43

Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#2 2018-09-04 02:27:28

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#3 2018-09-04 02:34:39

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#4 2018-09-04 05:36:35

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#5 2018-09-04 12:04:47

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#6 2018-09-04 21:17:08

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#7 2018-09-04 21:27:34

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#8 2018-09-04 21:29:40

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#9 2018-09-05 05:56:06

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#10 2018-09-05 06:29:42

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#11 2018-09-05 22:52:58

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#12 2019-11-13 17:17:22

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#13 2019-11-13 21:32:21

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#14 2019-11-13 21:51:47

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

#15 2019-11-13 22:09:12

Re: Chuck Norris truths as told by Texas Longhorn

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