Quote Of The Day

hhh · 2020-08-31 23:02:26

Donald Fagen on Gaucho, 1980 wrote:

The kid will live and learn as he watches his bridges burn from the point of no return.

hhh · 2020-09-06 01:32:05

So at work today the crew is discussing movies. Grumpy Old Men gets mentioned as a favorite and everyone agrees, then I try to be clever by saying "I don't need to watch the movie because I'm living it!", which gets a laugh.

My twenty-year younger coworker, without a pause, says "Well, I'm living Groundhog Day so I think I have you beat."

Needless to say, jaws dropped and howls erupted, that was a good comeback.

hhh · 2020-09-21 19:32:48

Cracking up watching a really stupid comedy, Norm McDonald and Artie Lange in 'Dirty Work' (1998)

*love interest* You two are brothers?

*Norm* Yeah, it's a long story.
*Artie* My dad boned his mom.
*Norm* OK, it's a short story.

glittersloth · 2020-12-01 16:02:37

forensictoxguy wrote:

I just got kicked out of a flat earth facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline had pushed anyone over the edge yet.

brontosaurusrex · 2020-12-04 09:58:56

hhh wrote:

Step one: Install wiring harness and battery. Step two: Install engine, brakes, transmission, fuel tank and steering. Step 3: Connect brake lines, fuel line and steering and transmission linkages. Start car and use.

Your mileage may vary smile

Last edited by brontosaurusrex (2020-12-04 10:57:11)

sleekmason · 2020-12-04 23:12:41

+1 for the above
and,

Thanks for the detailed feedback, but for me this is r/restofthefuckingowl.

had me rolling as well. big_smile

hhh · 2020-12-05 00:56:46

^,^^ To be fair, it was simple once I recovered from my brainfart and could think clearly...

https://forums.bunsenlabs.org/viewtopic … 97#p108797

But, yeah, I can be acerbic when frustrated. @PackRat PM'd me with the subject title "rest of the tiger", we had a good chuckle about it.

His response to my apology for not thinking it through is quote-worthy...

PackRat wrote:

We have all been down that $PATH.

glittersloth · 2021-01-15 11:21:31

Could easily go in the Jokes/One-Liners thread, but as the village idiot, I feel that thread is beneath me (*smug face*) so I'm posting here. Don't know who first said it, but it's stayed in my head throughout most of my life.

The first organ a human fetus develops is the anus. We all begin life as tiny little assholes.

ohnonot · 2021-01-16 07:06:13

^ reminds me of one of your previous avatars big_smile

glittersloth wrote:

as the village idiot, I feel that thread is beneath me (*smug face*)

Last edited by ohnonot (2021-07-04 09:25:46)

glittersloth · 2021-02-18 08:23:04

From the "Overheard on Twitter" section in a newsletter I subscribe to;

@welcomewords wrote:

If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat, while most of the other monkeys starved, scientists would study that monkey to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. When humans do it, we put them on the cover of Forbes.

hhh · 2021-02-19 01:37:01

^ According to this article by Forbes, a monkey can do better in the stock market than the professionals...

https://www.forbes.com/sites/rickferri/ … c3cc23630a

I bet they then studied the simulated monkeys who had more bananas, didn't they?

tknomanzr · 2021-02-19 05:25:52

^ It's a house of tricks.

glittersloth · 2021-03-14 08:33:55

RIP Murray Walker

Murray Walker wrote:

I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.

Anaconda · 2021-03-15 07:02:35

glittersloth wrote:

From the "Overheard on Twitter" section in a newsletter I subscribe to;
@welcomewords wrote:
If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat, while most of the other monkeys starved, scientists would study that monkey to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. When humans do it, we put them on the cover of Forbes.

Sloth... that quote should be spray painted on bank buildings in every city on earth.

Last edited by Anaconda (2021-03-15 07:05:02)

hhh · 2021-03-16 00:37:35

Meh, it's a meme already...

https://www.facebook.com/Ineverheardthi … 7958261994

glittersloth · 2021-03-16 17:04:07

If any person behaved like an app – rifled through your address book, fitted a tracking device to your car, obsessively logged what books and TV shows you watched, and wanted to disturb you at any moment of the day or night – you’d throw them out of your house and call the police.

misko_2083 · 2021-03-16 19:47:41

glittersloth wrote:

From the "Overheard on Twitter" section in a newsletter I subscribe to;
@welcomewords wrote:
If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat, while most of the other monkeys starved, scientists would study that monkey to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. When humans do it, we put them on the cover of Forbes.

Човечанство очигледно жели да буде власник планете Земље, а не њен део.
Mankind obviously wants to be the owner of planet Earth, not part of it.

tknomanzr · 2021-03-17 02:37:56

glittersloth wrote:

If any person behaved like an app – rifled through your address book, fitted a tracking device to your car, obsessively logged what books and TV shows you watched, and wanted to disturb you at any moment of the day or night – you’d throw them out of your house and call the police.

Actually, a lot of people would probably marry them.

damo · 2021-03-17 02:55:26

^ big_smile

Apps are easier to delete though. No axe and spade are necessary.

#26 2020-08-31 23:02:26

Re: Quote Of The Day

#27 2020-09-06 01:32:05

Re: Quote Of The Day

#28 2020-09-21 19:32:48

Re: Quote Of The Day

#29 2020-12-01 16:02:37

Re: Quote Of The Day

#30 2020-12-04 09:58:56

Re: Quote Of The Day

#31 2020-12-04 23:12:41

Re: Quote Of The Day

#32 2020-12-05 00:56:46

Re: Quote Of The Day

#33 2021-01-15 11:21:31

Re: Quote Of The Day

#34 2021-01-16 07:06:13

Re: Quote Of The Day

#35 2021-02-18 08:23:04

Re: Quote Of The Day

#36 2021-02-19 01:37:01

Re: Quote Of The Day

#37 2021-02-19 05:25:52

Re: Quote Of The Day

#38 2021-03-14 08:33:55

Re: Quote Of The Day

#39 2021-03-15 07:02:35

Re: Quote Of The Day

#40 2021-03-16 00:37:35

Re: Quote Of The Day

#41 2021-03-16 17:04:07

Re: Quote Of The Day

#42 2021-03-16 19:47:41

Re: Quote Of The Day

#43 2021-03-17 02:37:56

Re: Quote Of The Day

#44 2021-03-17 02:55:26

Re: Quote Of The Day

Board footer